COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING

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Thought patterns that induce fear, worry, anxiety or stress can be replaced with thoughts that are more constructive. We can examine our thoughts and determine which thoughts are leading to anxiety. However, it is not a simple as just replacing the anxiety provoking thoughts. It is important to note that these thoughts were originally ‘born’ to create a sense of safety. There most likely was a threat or danger that existed when these thoughts were conceived and it is no longer present at this moment. This means these thoughts not applicable to this moment.

There is an old adage that applies here. Imagine you are standing on a rock that is keeping you safe from water in a river. At this time, you cling tightly to this rock. As time passes, the river changes levels and there were times you could have walked away from that rock on dry river bed, but you stayed because once it kept you safe. As time continues to pass the river rises and you still cling to the rock. Now the rock is deep under water, and you cling to the rock. This behavior that once kept you safe now brings you harm.

This is what happens when we do not modify our thoughts and beliefs as life changes. What once was helpful, now becomes hurtful.
As we restructure our thoughts, we recognize that they once served a purpose, but now things are different. Perhaps we need to modify our thinking. Cognitive restructuring is that process.

Cognitive Thought training

Learning how to restructure your thoughts before, during and after stress, panic or anger episodes will provide faster recovery from emotional disruption. This program offers empirically based Cognitive Behavioral approaches to easing anxiety, stress and anger.

COGNITIVE THOUGHT TRAINING

Calming the Creature Inside Us All

Common Thinking Errors to Explore

All or Nothing

Overgeneralization

Negative Filter

Disqualifying Positive

Jumping to Conclusion

Core Beliefs Worksheet

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING

Seeing things in extreme, absolute terms without considering any middle ground.

“If I am not perfect, then I am a perfect failure”

“If I can’t do this perfectly, then I should not even bother to try”

“Either I succeed at everything I do or I am a complete failure”

“If I don’t do well at this task, I will get fired and no one will hire me”

Combatting all or nothing thinking/ not enough

No one is perfect all of the time.

I am the only one holding me to these expectations.

I am not the best, or the worst, but somewhere in the middle.

I succeed as some things and I fail at some things. I have strengths and weaknesses. That makes me human and relatable. Return to top.

Worksheet for All-or-nothing

OVERGENERALIZATION:

Drawing broad, negative conclusions based on a single event or limited evidence.

“I failed at this test, I must be stupid”

“I made a mistake at work today, I am always messing up and will never be good enough”

“My last relationship ended badly, so I’ll be happy in love again”

“I failed on my diet, I will never lose this weight or be healthy again”

Countering Overgeneralization:

One mistake does not constitute a prediction of my future.

I can learn from my mistakes and they do not mean that I am destined to repeat them.

I can use this experience to grow and can engage in better relationships in the future with my new knowledge.

My past shows that nothing is permanent. I've had various experiences in relationships, jobs, and performances, some good and some not. I understand that things will change from their current state. Return to top

worksheet for overgeneralization

Focusing solely on negative details while ignoring the positive aspects of a situation.

MENTAL FILTER (SELECTIVE ABSTRACTION)

This is the ability to reflect on past, present and future and only see the negative aspects of it. It is viewing life through the lens of negativity.

Countering Mental Filter

The counter for this is not rose-colored glasses, but rather a realistic view of what life has held.

Many times it can be helpful to have a reality check folder in your computer or drawer in your desk. In this folder have letters, emails and notes from things that others have sent you or told you. For example, when a co-worker or classmate tells you that you have been helpful, are smart, are kind, pleasant or creative, place these comments in this folder. Mark down life accomplishments, like making it through schooling landmarks, landing a job, getting a promotion, training for a walk/race or meeting some life goals. Keep track of the reality of good accomplishments.

Why our mind does this? Its simple. Safety. It is more important for safety reasons to remember negative events than it is to remember positive events.

Think about it, remembering that a venomous snake lives by the fence is far more important than remembering a robin lives in the tree. One will keep us alive. Our brain holds more tightly to facts that keep us safe.

Unfortunately, in our socially driven world, embarrassment, rejection, betrayal and abandonment equal the snake or sense of not being safe, so our brain more easily remembers that than it does the nice comments, acceptances and approvals. Return to top.

DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE:

Discounting positive experiences or achievements as insignificant or unrelated.

Scroll down for Jumping to conclusion, Fortune Telling and Emotional Reasoning

This is the same effect as the negative mental filter as it diminishes positive events and emphasizes the negative occurrences. Again, the purpose of this is that remembering and emphasizing negative serves a stronger safety drive in the short term. But in the absence of imminent physical danger, this simply perpetuates depression.

Think of the long-term impact of focusing solely on the negative. Without the dopamine spike of successes, acknowledgement of learning and reward sensations of successes; eventually hopelessness will set in. It is like a dome light in a car being left on all night, draining away the energy needed to give us hope, propel us forward and drive us into paths of more reinforcement. It is a parasitic energy current draining us. Countering this is the same counter for negative mental filter.

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:

Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking without concrete evidence.

Mind reading is, you guessed it, another part of safety or protecting ourselves. When we mind read it is how we make sense of the world around us and try to predict what will happen next. This is a natural system that works well, when we use the facts presented to us to do so, but a flawed system when we are misinterpreting and jumping to conclusions without evidence.

Mind reading is not helpful when there is no evidence to support this. Assuming what someone in a store is thinking about you is not helpful without cues and clues that support your assumption. Cues and clues from body language, verbiage, and behavioral cues.

FORTUNE-TELLING

Predicting negative outcomes without sufficient evidence.

Fortune telling is very similar to mind reading so it too is classified under jumping to conclusions. It is just another concluding what the outcome is going to be without evidence. This can look like “I am going to lose” at the beginning of a game. It can also look like “This will fail” at the beginning of a relationship even though things are going well. It again, has a bit to do with trying to prepare oneself for the worst outcome as a means of protection. However, it is not truly preparing for the worst, just predicting for it.

EMOTIONAL REASONING:

Believing that your feelings reflect the truth, regardless of evidence.

Feelings are powerful and serve a purpose and should be observed. There is an old saying: Emotions make good advisors but poor executives. Our emotions should be used to guide but not decide.

The counter for this is to remember that just feelings are not fact.

My feelings are valid and important, but they may not always reflect the objective truth. It's essential to consider evidence and facts alongside my emotions to gain a balanced perspective. Return to thought skills.

MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) AND MINIMIZATION:

Exaggerating the importance of negative events while downplaying positive ones.

Scroll down for Should Statements, Personalization and Mislabeling

You are probably seeing a theme in how negative is enhanced while positive is minimized in the past several thinking errors. Additionally, there is an increase in personal responsibility for failures and decrease in personal acceptance of successes. Finally, there is emphasis on probability of what could go wrong. All of these increase a person's anxiety, worry, frustration, desire to quit and shame. But don't feel discouraged, use the counter measures and continue to combat these patterns for a stronger sense of self. Click here for worksheet

MAGNIFICATION

Magnification involved blowing minor issues out of proportional perceiving them as significant catastrophes. It is crucial to recognize and challenge these thoughts to maintain a more balanced perspective.

"I made a small mistake at work, and now I'm sure I'll get fired."

"If I fail this test, it's the end of my academic career, and I'll never succeed in anything."

"My friend didn't respond to my text immediately; they must be upset with me and hate me now."

Here are some ways to counter magnifications or catastrophizing statements

"Making a small mistake is normal, and it won't define my entire job performance. I can learn from it and improve in the future."

"Failing one test doesn't determine my academic future. I can study harder and seek help to improve in other subjects."

"My friend might be busy or not see the text yet; it doesn't mean they hate me. I should wait for their response and not jump to conclusions."

Worksheet for these thinking traps and unified protocol

"SHOULD" STATEMENTS: USING RIGID, CRITICAL, OR UNREALISTIC RULES FOR YOURSELF OR OTHERS.

Should statements are rigid statements that hold you to unrealistic expectations of self and sometimes of others. Using should statements actually increase our anxiety and stress and limit our ability to generate helpful solutions.

When we use ‘should’ statements we can place unrealistic expectations or demands on ourselves, which then make us feel guilty or like a failure. Often times, we will even use should statements in hindsight, as if we ‘should’ have known something.

“I should have taken the backroad, I am going to be late because I took the highway”.

With should statements, we blame ourselves and can fail to validate ourselves.

“I should be able to do this with more ease”.

Should statements can lead to putting oneself down.

“I ought to be able to do this without panic”

“I shouldn’t be so upset”.

Countering should/ought/must thoughts

“It would be preferable”

“I wish I didn’t have this anxiety/fear, but I am getting better at controlling it and better at managing”

“I am learning to over come my fears”

“I made the best choice I could with the information I had”

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Worksheet for shame

PERSONALIZATION: BLAMING YOURSELF FOR THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL OR ASSUMING EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU.

Taking responsibility is great, as long as it is yours to take responsibility for.

Personalization is taking responsibility for what is not yours to own. It is blaming yourself for things that are not within your control.

Personalization involves assuming that everything that happens is about oneself, even when there is little or no evidence to support the assumption.

It's important to challenge these thoughts and consider alternative explanations for the events or behaviors observed.

Some examples may be:

“My team lost and it is my fault because I made a mistake” (one mistake does not lose an entire match)

“My family is fighting, I must be the cause of the conflict” (family members can have their own conflicts that are separate from your interactions with them, evaluate using facts of your interactions with others)

“My friend did not text me back, they must be avoiding me. (something may be going on with them and they may be busy or otherwise occupied).

“People are whispering, they must be talking about me negatively” (people are typically focused more on themselves than you, they are just as self-conscious as you are and are not focused on you)

The thoughts in parenthesis are the counter thoughts to assist in restructuring how you view and think about events. Return to top

LINK FOR WORKSHEET OF CBT AND CORE BELIEFS

MINIMIZATION OF SUCCESS AND OF PERSONAL STRUGGLES

This is a process of comparing your personal pain to that of others and minimizing and not validation personal struggles. An example is when struggling with depression or anxiety focusing on things such as 'I have a place to live so there is no reason for me to be depressed when others are homeless"
This practice keeps one from validating real struggles and appreciating one's personal successes. It keeps us stuck in devaluing our stories of success by comparing to what others have done greater and not validating our struggles because others have had it worse.
COMPARISON IS THE END OF ALL CONTENTMENT
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Labeling and Mislabeling:
Attaching negative labels to yourself or others based on past mistakes, instead of seeing the bigger picture. Shame and guilt play a major role in all of our thinking errors, as do our beliefs.
Shame and guilt are both healthy and normal emotions, but toxic levels of these emotions can throw us into unhealthy coping. Bradshaw said something to the effect of ‘healthy shame keeps us from running down the street naked’. This catchy phrase reminds us that shame in its healthy version keeps us relatively socially appropriate, in this case clothed. Shame is used to alert our system when we are stepping outside of social norms and facing rejection or ridicule. It is an internal system that is designed to let us know that we are embarrassed about ourselves and actions.
Guilt in its healthy form creates a sense of feeling bad about something we have done and urges us to repair. For example, if we have harmed someone then guilt urges us to repair that relationship.
Remember that recognizing these thinking errors can help you challenge and reframe them, leading to healthier and more balanced thoughts and emotional reactions.